John's Other Blog

Realities of "Lifestyle Design"

I listen to music, write to friends on the Internet, tweak my web pages and run my business. I don't have a job and don't need one because I know how to take care of myself. Things are OK most of the time. Then I fall into a dark, depressing pit. Someone is screaming at me. I can't speak because the yelling doesn't stop long enough. I won't mention her name, but I know she won't read this. We begin a conversation the next day in stressful tones, then it slowly subsides to normal speaking tones as we realize that we still love each other. We're back to normal, waiting for the next explosion; we both know it will come sooner or later. We are two damaged people who can't stop hurting each other. I care for her and feel responsible for her. I don't know how this happened. She is not my girlfriend or my wife.

As an element of lifestyle design, the feelings I have for this woman are bad design. There is too much suffering. A skillful, chic lifestyle designer wouldn't use this design element. It doesn't fit the "dress for success" formula. Can I afford it? Yes, I can. I can afford it because I'm not "chic" and have nothing to lose.

posted by johncgreen@gmail.com @ 12:10 PM