Tea in Cairo
I've been told that when doing business in the Middle East, one must be prepared to drink tea and socialize first before getting down to it. People in that part of the world want to talk to you about your family, who you are and what you care about first, before they feel comfortable doing business with you. I don't do any big business deals with anybody, but even for the small ones I do like buying luggage or collectibles, the tea-drinking seems to be an important preliminary. I've tried to adapt to it, even though I don't particularly like tea. My ability to adapt only goes so far. I can't do the tea socializing for its own sake. People in Cairo that I know want to grab me by the elbow when I pass on the street and make me sit down and have a cup with them, even if we aren't planning to do any business and even if we've already had enough tea and conversation to know all about each other. It is difficult just to walk by and wave "hello." It can be done, but it takes determination.
I also have trouble with the nighttime coffee shop socializing. You see people sitting in coffee shops at night for hours and hours, talking and talking, as if there is nothing better to do. I have difficulty with this for several reasons. My Arabic is not good enough to carry on with it for extended periods, I don't have that much small talk to offer in any language, and there is almost always something I'd rather do. In Cairo, I'd rather walk around and look at things than sit and talk. If I'm not in the mood to do that, I need to be tinkering with something, like a computer program. Reading books is also more interesting than chatting in a coffee shop. In fact, just about anything is more interesting than that to me. If I were a novelist or a detective perhaps I'd feel differently.
One sees a lot of men in Cairo with most of their teeth rotted away. This is from drinking that sweetened tea day in and day out year after year, with no dental care, and it is also one of the liabilities of being a man in that culture. Women don't sit in coffee shops in droves the way the men do. They don't have time for that because they're busy taking care of things at home. Bad teeth in Egyptian men is also partly a product of Cairo's high unemployment. These guys seem to think if they don't have a salaried job, there is nothing to do. I don't understand that at all. Of course there are things to do! One must think about what to do, but there are things to do, and people ought to get up and do them. I find the long hours of obligatory sipping and chatting in Cairo oppressive and irritating. I'm knocking it, but I have tried it. Let's all get lives, please. Unemployment is a state of mind, not a social malady.
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